Wrong place at the wrong time. (A short blog on wrong referrals for menopause)

So anyway.

I got to thinking about being a woman in her 50s (because I am), and how I got to where I am with my health.

I am very lucky to work in my chosen industry, because it does lend yourself to a knowledge base, and also contact with other health professionals, that have opened my eyes to a lot of gaps in strategic documents and advice available to women over 40.

I’ve said it before, and I will say it again, that I am personally dumbfounded by the fact that when I was in my late teens in and early 20s, my GP at the time spoke about the pill, the coil, and implants on every single visit that I was there, regardless of the reason for booking. Contraception was very much ‘sold’ to me that it would make my life better, ease off period pain, make sure that I didn’t have an unplanned pregnancy. Hormones were basically promoted to help make my life better.

Lets fast forward another 20 years when women, myself included, get unexplained UTI infections, urgency to pee constantly and the stress that goes along with it, other people NOT understanding or tolerating what was happening to me (one person close to me didn’t speak to me for 3 months because they found it a challenge putting up with my toilet habits, it really annoyed them. Don’t worry, we are thick as thieves now). I have since found out that this is due to collagen decreasing throughout the body, and the bladder and ureters get affected by this imbalance and go into panic mode.

Also add in joint pain, clicking joints in hands, brain fog, being unable to form sentences, and stronger personalities trying to dominate you by confusing you on a daily basis, and it doesn’t sound good does it?

I have been hearing about a few cases of women referred to rheumatology or endocrine specialists, and the consultants then write back advising the GP that all the patient needs is a course of HRT, as neither patient nor GP even thought that perimenopause or menopause was a factor.

If you are reading this, and any of it is sounding familiar, I can’t stress enough how important it is to write things down as they happen and keep a track of your symptoms, so you can go to your GP with prepared notes instead of sitting in a chair trying to piece everything together.

Also, know that things WILL get better. I went through 18 months in total of sheer hell with symptoms, some of which do still rear their ugly head every now and again.

Anxiety I think is possibly the worst one that comes back, I just stay clear of challenging people, that’s what seems to work for me. It’s better than starting an argument. Step away from the burning car.

A good resource website is The Menopause Doctor and Louise also has good podcasts to dive into as well.

I also am a menopause coach and you can get my workshop and workbook here . I don’t give medical advice unlike Louise Newson, as she’s a Doctor, but I do is go through all the steps to reduce stress and put some clarity into situations that could be making things worse with symptoms.

Please know that you are not alone in this, and that the right information and support is out there.

I can help you find it.

Onward!

Elizabeth

Where's the surprise? (An update on menopause symptoms)

So Anyway.

January was a practice run, and February is really when the new year started, well that’s how it’s working out for me anyway.

I have noticed over the last few months, since about November ish, that my frequent menopause symptoms have been amplifying themselves again, and really, I am NOT surprised.

When you know better you do better. I know that excessive carbohydrates can set things off for me, but it’s been so bloody cold and recently, that I have been craving butter soaked toast, and Greggs sausage rolls, and I know that it’s because I have been indulging regularly, that’s the reason that things are kicking off again.

Slight bloating, not as bad as it was, but the hot sweats have now been accompanied by a new pal, the COLD sweats. My hands and the back of my neck for some reason go icy cold and I am sweating as well.

So here I am having a word with myself about how to look after myself better, and stop literally saying F**k it to food groups that, when eaten daily, really do make my body react in unpleasant ways.

Menopause sweats equals stress, which equals cortisol levels increasing, which then brings on weight gain, which then makes me feel like crap, and makes me reach for the carbs to comfort eat.

Yes I am health coach, and yes I literally do still have to have a stern word with myself.

Just a short post today but the message is, yes if you make a 1% improvement in your life it can snowball into something amazing by the end of the week/month.

It’s the same the other way.

If you are consistently 1% rubbish with food, movement, sleep patterns, stress, it will also snowball into something bigger after one week or month.

Ooft.

Onward!

Haters gonna Hate (but what if it's you?)

So anyway…

Over the last week, I have noticed a few people making really negative comments about themselves.

I don’t like my figure

I don’t like my stomach

My wrinkles look awful on zoom (who does?)

I don’t like my hair

Just to name a few that come to mind.

Up until a few months ago, I was doing the same to myself, but then I decided to start treating those areas that I don’t like, with a bit more self care, body oils, taking better care of my nails. Has anything changed about me appearance? Well, yes! my skin doesn’t feel so dry, and I do find I’ve been making more mindful choices about food and how I fuel myself, because, no gets it right over Christmas and being in such close proximity to Quality Street. I will quite happily graze on chocolate til the cows come home.

So what can you do to get out of that rut?

Remember you are still alive. As drama queeny as it sounds, if you are alive, your are already a success.

I spoke with one lady this week, a new Mum, baby is 4 months old. She wasn’t happy with how her body was looking 4 months after giving birth. I have a lot of empathy for anyone who doesn’t like what they see in the mirror, as being menopausal, my confidence crashed really badly with regard to my appearance.

I gently reminded her, that she had must made a human, and that her body had made a brain, a heart and a spinal cord. How amazing is that!!!

Whatever your reason for not liking your body just now, here is a list of my go to’s for how to pick yourself up again.

Just get the basics right, brushing your teeth and moisturising your face (men too!)

Make sleep part of your day, and not just something you fit in

If you can’t find anything good on TV to watch, put it off, and get a book or magazine to read

Put yourself back to school in whatever you fancy. I have fallen down a crochet rabbit hole. Yes you read that right. All my friends are getting toilet roll holders for their birthday. Do you remember doing art at school? Or sewing? I bloody loved it. Why did I forget that? Who didn’t doodle on their jotters? Get doodling my friends.

Surround yourself with great scents. I am writing this with the smell of geranium coming out of a diffuser. Marvellous. Here’s a link to a the oil I am using.

Lavender and Cedarwood are also excellent for grounding if you feel you are too much in your head.

Drink water: I have to remind myself to do it, but a great party trick is to drink a big glass when you get up, before you have your coffee. It’s a good way to get a head start.

So anyway!

That will do for just now, I hope I have given you some good ideas on how to like your physical self a bit more. Get moisturising, and start loving those bits you don’t like just now.

Think about how much stagnant energy you may be trapping in those parts of your body you repeatedly say you don’t like. Oooft.

Onward!

A few of my favourite things!

Woohoo!

Happy new year and happy new whatever else you are trying out for the first time.

I have had a couple of clients ask me what products I have been using and loving, so I thought I would share it with you.

Making a small change or an incremental upgrade can make a huge difference if you practice consistently.

So here’s my best of the best.

Body moisturisers and treatments

Garnier body cream is just a great all rounder and not too greasy after use.

If you want to go high end, and maybe have a special event to prepare for Bum Bum Creme is for the win. It really does what it says on the tin, literally. Both creams are great and make a huge difference to the skin, but i suppose it'‘s the smell of the Bum Bum Cream (pronounced Boom boom apparently)!

Face!

Step away from the wet wipes when cleansing your face! Ok, use them in an emergency, but not for your long term skincare regime. My favourites are Neals Yard Calendula cleanser, and take it off with a hot damp face cloth. It smells just divine.

Toners are a good way to boost your skin and if you use one with a glycolic acid of 5% it can really help to clear up skin that is prone to breakouts. My favourite is Pixi. Do your own reading into what you find is best for your skin! These are just my favourites.

My favourite ever moisturiser for my face is Ultimate sleep cream from Marks and Spencer. It’s one I keep going back to. I venture out and try other but it’s definitely my favourite. Not really in the ‘natural’ skin care bracket, it’s more of a throw everything and the kitchen sink at it, cream. In menopause my skin craves anything that feels like cream cheese. Another one in a different price bracket is Super drug vitamin E cream. This one leaves a bit of a glow radiance wise, and also has an SPF in it.

A good idea to ramp up any face cream is to add a facial oil to it, a couple of drops makes a difference. One I love using is Ermana. It is a brand local to Glasgow and I have been using it for years. Don’t be afraid of using a facial oil, it’s such a great stand alone treatment as well if you feel like your skin needs an extra drink.

Self tanning

I don’t really dip into full body fake tans at all but I am all about the facial tan though!

A new favourite is Utan in collaboration with Jamie Genevieve. There are 2 shades, one a bit darker, so be careful which one you get!

Now is the time to start thinking about getting spring ready so, get ahead of the game and start moisturising you legs, and feet, and using beard oil if there’s any men reading this! You are totally included in the looking after your skin scheme of things!

We all need to make sure our feet are flip flop ready, even if you have no plans to go abroad, Scotland does get the weather good sometimes!

My go to podiatrist in Glasgow is Andi Black. He is just fantastic and keep my feet match fit for life and work. If you are looking for a nail spruce up, my go to’s are Sacha and also Naf!.

So there you go! Get stuck in with the self care!

1% upgrade. Footcream on before bed every night. This is what I am off to do.

Onward!

Groundhog day/month/year.

Oh boy. Here we go again.

That’s what it feels like a wee bit doesn’t it? I’ve said it before and yup, I’m about to repeat myself, August started off feeling so positive, then the OMG news cycle started with Afghanistan and what that nation was having to cope with, and it just felt we were all on a slip slide with them.

So here we are again, coming up for Christmas, and we have a new bloody variant of this b**tarding virus, as i call it, going about, and our news cycle is full of it. Now, more than ever, it’s important to stand guard to your mind, and not let feelings of hopelessness take over.

So, here is my action plan to help out during this trying time.

Create healthy news habits

Notice how many times you are picking up your phone during the day, and if you are simply doom scrolling, I choose to get my news (I’m a poet and I don’t know it), from listening to the radio in the morning, and then at lunchtime have a quick scroll on Twitter, and then I watch the 10pm news at night, if I feel like it. That’s it. Oh, and speaking to my Mum.

I’m not really on Facebook that much, so thankfully I am not getting targeted by others with either adverts or their content, but what I would say, with kindness, is, if you have people in your life who share a lot of content about covid 19 on their social media, and you find it triggering, maybe try muting it for a while.

Focus on the present

Sounds easy doesn’t it? Focusing on the present really does mean having a word with yourself and putting down your phone. Today, I have made a list of things I’d like to get done, this blog post being one of them, and I don’t know what’s going on in this mornings news yet, I am choosing to focus on my writing this morning. And coffee.

I am such a fan of a list. I made a one a couple of nights ago of all the things I keep forgetting to do, and also a list of Christmas stuff to get through and I’m feeling productive AF. For me, the more organised I am, the less stressed I am. That also includes leaving the house a lot earlier if I need to go out, it really makes difference.

Continue with your self care

Oh wow. It’s that self care phrase again. Whatever yours is, do it. I KNOW I feel heaps better when I have done a pilates or barre class online, and I always feel better after my cycling commute to work, unless it’s Thursday, because Thursday is ‘drive like a bam’ day in Glasgow. I have NO idea why, but if I get a close pass or someone who is literally just off my back wheel, way too close, it’s a Thursday.

What is your go to feel good stuff to do? Here is mine.

Facial massage when I cleanse my face

Chamomile tea with a splash of apple cider vinegar

Going to bed early with a book

Making an effort to moisturise my hands, especially with all the handwashing we are doing

Pilates and barre for the win. Sarah Gorman is a favourite

And, of late, making a hot chocolate with a slug of Baileys in it.

Keep yourself safe.

I am doing all that I can to keep myself safe. I do all that I can and stay away from others who are maybe not so bothered. I can’t police the world.

It really is down to just doing everything that we have been doing over the last 18 months or so.

Good ventilation has always been our first line of defence, then face covers, and hand washing. I don’t think i’ll get back to the stage mentally where i was disinfecting my shopping and my outdoor shoes (please tell me I wasn’t the only one), but I must admit I still do my steering wheel when I get back from the shops. I have no idea why. There are effective hygiene measures, then there is hygiene theatre. I just stick with the sensible basics. A definite hygiene theatre moment for me, was , last year, when i got back from the shops, I would undress at my front door and stick everything in washing machine.

We really don’t know what we were dealing with, but why was I acting like I was Karen Silkwood. It made me feel better.

Try to avoid worst case scenario thinking.

This is pretty rich coming from me. I have really had to work on this. I must admit though, my catastrophic thinking is greatly influenced by other people in my life. If someone continuously is doom gloom despair and despondency when they are around you, you can get pulled into that line of thinking.

I used to have someone in my life like that until recently, when I just decided pommes des terre, sur la cotes. Tatties over the side. I feel so much better about life now. I have breathing space.

It all goes back to controlling what you can control, and being present in the NOW instead of trying to forecast what will happen. Here is a good website for you, if you feel that covid 19 is taking up way too much space in your head.

Also, remember to talk to your friends and family, and keep an ear out for anyone who is being a bit quiet.

Anyway, I hope you found this useful.

What we are going through now, can’t be any worse than what we experienced last March 2020 when we really really didn’t know what on earth was going on. Now we kind of do. Ish.

Stand guard to your mind.

Elizabeth x

Perimenopause - don't think 'I've got heaps of time'.

So Anyway… Don’t wait to plan your health and wellbeing.

I’m not trying to be the harbringer of doom, but if you a woman, and even if you think you are NOWHERE near menopause or perimenopause, please up the ante on how much notice you give to your periods, cramps, and any other kind of hormonal upheaval you experience during the month.

Keep a health diary, make a note in your phone, or actually have a small paper diary that you use to mark things in that are worthy of remark. When I was a teenager, my periods would absolutely cripple me with cramps and feeling as if my legs both had air pressure pumps attached to them. In my 20s it was only every 3rd of 4th period that would do that, then in my 30s, my period would arrive and I wouldn’t have known any better.

When I hit 40, that’s when the ugly crying and feelings of doom started, but it was like a 2 week lead up to it, and it was the emotional side of it that would cripple me, and then all of a sudden it was permanent feelings of low confidence, not knowing how to dress, 4 changes of clothes before leaving the house, and excessive sweating due to that. Stress was a major factor.

Notice what you notice. Don’t leave anything to do with your health down to chance, or , I’ll deal with that later. Have a note of what your numbers are. Do you know what your blood pressure last was? Smart watches are brilliant for keeping an eye on heart rates etc aren’t they? When was your last smear test? Are you due another one? Has your GP even spoken about perimenopause with you, or asked you about your period?

I think as people these days, we are always aware of what everyone else is up to, and sometimes not paying enough attention to ourselves. Keep a note on your own wellness. I live on my own and have more than enough time to take care of myself, but a Mum or Dad with kids, possibly only eating their leftovers and not having a proper meal themselves, I see you.

That’s why we have thousands of women up and down the country in tears ( I read it on community facebook groups) in tears because they don’t understand why they have put on weight or just feel worn out all the time.

It’s an honour to get old, and we are the first generation of women to be able to talk about periods and menopause because most of us are lucky enough to have Mums or Aunties still alive. My own mother lost her Mum when she was 29. My Grandma was only 54. No age at all. What that meant though was my Mum had nothing to compare it to when she experienced it. No one to talk to. I’m lucky that I can talk to her.

What I would urge you to look out for as a fabulously maturing lady are:

Crying a the drop of a hat

Not feeling comfortable in your own skin and losing confidence

Explosive rage, which is basically fear and feelings of not being able to control your surroundings (why would you want to control other people anyway? We can’t police the world. It’s a difficult one)

Your period being like playing the lottery 26 days, 46, 33, 23…

I don’t have the scientific background but I do have the ‘back to the future’ mind. I do think in the next couple of years, we will have devices at your front doors to breathe on and tell us whether we are virus free, and also a little pad we can wear that will tell us daily whether we need more carbs, protein, hydration, when our cycle is due, what levels our oestrogen is at.

I’m not suggesting for a moment that we promote health anxiety, but what I am saying is that, I have been upright for 52 years now. I look after myself physically, and mentally as best as I can. To be honest the mental side of it, is the bigger struggle, just watching the news, I feel like I need a cushion to hide behind.

Start taking notice of yourself. If you knew as much about yourself, as you knew about Harry Styles (just me?), or what so and so on Instagram is up to, it would give us a massive heads up.

Onward!

Elizabeth